The heart of Yoga of the Mind is this: Feeling good is the highest value you can hold, and it drives nearly everything. All efforts and accomplishments, all possessions and relationships that a person might desire, are for the experience of feeling good. It’s a totally subjective thing, it’s internal, it’s personal and it’s governed only by you. Feeling good has nothing to do with what others want, need, demand, or would obligate you to.
What makes you feel good is being the person you want to be. All your choices and decisions – about everything – relate to that. No one else is involved; only you have a picture of who you want to be. And you have been given the freedom to be that. So has everyone else.
Why is that simple idea so often lost or buried as people live their lives? How does it happen in the course of having a career, raising a family, or just living on the planet for a few years, that feeling good becomes an unmet desire or a nagging afterthought?
The first reaction of many people to this idea is to assume that immorality or selfishness would result; they are imagining a person who has no sense of community or concern for the welfare of others. And, indeed, there are such people.
They are not, however, most people. For most people being reliable, responsible, loving and generous are important. Most people want to have strong connections to others – family, community, friends – and they try to maintain those connections; they make the best decisions about them that they know how to make.
It’s also common for us to think that high purpose of any kind requires suffering. The histories of great art, literature, politics, religion, the advancement of civilization itself are presented with the greatest accolades going to those who experience suffering and sacrifice. In Christian mythology, the death and resurrection of Jesus is usually presented as the greatest possible sacrifice rather than the greatest example of what is humanly possible. That, despite his teaching that others would do even greater works than his own. Interpreting the meaning of the crucifixion isn’t my intention here, but to point out the emphasis given to sacrifice and suffering. This emphasis has become a part of our culture and directly informs our values.
It’s quite a shift to go from that sort of orientation to one that values simply feeling good. Yet, it’s really the most effective motivator and the best source for generosity and creativity. Feeling good allows one to share himself, her talents, his resources more fully than any other emotional state would, and it keeps one's resource bank in better shape. When you’re feeling good you are less likely to erupt with anger, ignore with contempt, react in jealousy, or dispute someone else’s validity. Feeling good keeps you moving toward things you desire, rather than away from what you don’t want; the benefit in that is that you are a lot more likely to lead a satisfying life.
If there’s any point in doing therapy, it’s this: to feel better.